What is Dom Sub Relationship?
If someone identifies as being into Dominant or submissive, they are likely to involve power play in their life, as well as maybe in other elements of their relationship. Individuals may identify as dominant, submissive, or switch (which means that they are sometimes dominant and sometimes submissive). People may play the same roles every time they play together, or they may play various roles on different occasions.
For most individuals, being D/s is something they do only occasionally. Such moments could involve any form of power play. For example, the submissive person may serve the dominant one food or give them a massage; the dominant person may order the submissive one around, restrain or punish them in some way; and people may act out specific power-based role-plays such as teacher and student, cop and robber, or pirate and captive. Some D/s people may have extended intervals, like as a vacation, where they maintain their power dynamic. And a few have lifestyle or 24/7 partnerships in which one person is always dominant and the other is submissive. Even in such circumstances, most of their daily life will most likely be similar to anyone else’s.
Dom Sub Relationship- What distinguishes it from the usual ‘vanilla’ relationship?
This is highly dependent on how essential it is in the lives of those involved. Some D/s partnerships would appear to be very similar to vanilla couples, except with a bit more power-play when people had sex. Others would have the D/s dynamic in other elements of the partnership. It should be noted, however, that most vanilla partnerships include distinct responsibilities (e.g. one person takes more responsibility for the finances, one person is more outgoing socially, one person does more of the looking after, one person takes the lead in sex). These aspects tend to be more clear in D/s relationships, although they may not be much different.
So the biggest difference may be in the amount of communication. Most people interested in BDSM emphasise the significance of everything being ‘consensual,’ thus there will most likely be a lot of negotiating at the outset about what people like and dislike, and how the relationship will be D/s. Checklists and contracts can be effective tools for clarifying this. As a result, there may be restrictions on the types of actions and sensations people enjoy, whether they enjoy role-playing or not, and whether areas of the relationship will have a D/s component.
Dom Sub Relationship- Why are there so many misconceptions about this type of relationship?
The media has portrayed BDSM in a bad light, frequently equating it with violence, danger, abuse, insanity, and criminality. According to research, people who practise BDSM are no different from others in terms of emotional well-being or upbringing, and they are no more likely to suffer significant injuries from their sex life or to commit crimes than anyone else.
The media frequently emphasises on the most extreme examples, such as extremely strong and/or 24/7 D/s arrangements, rather than the more regular partnerships with D/s aspects. People may have misconceptions regarding D/s relationships as a result of these factors. This is why it is important to get a variety of experiences out there in the media – so that people are more aware of the variety of things involved and the continuum (e.g. from light bondage and love bites to more scripted scenes and specifically designed toys).
Dom Sub Relationship- How do couples get started in a relationship like this?
It’s a good idea for all people in relationships, whether or not they’re interested in D/s, to talk about what they like sexually and, more broadly, what roles they want to play in the relationship early on. People frequently make assumptions about what the other person would enjoy or how they want the relationship to be.
For example, one wonderful sex therapy and BDSM community activity is to make a list as a couple of all the sexual practises that either of you is aware of, and then go down it writing ‘yes,’ ‘no,’ or’maybe’ about whether it is something that interests you, and discussing your opinions. It can also be beneficial to discuss sexual fantasies or favourite images/stories and whether (and, if so, how) they can be incorporated into your sex life (the Nancy Friday and Emily Dubberley collections of sexual fantasies can be helpful with this). It is critical that people only try things they want to try (rather than being forced to) and that it is acknowledged that there will likely be areas that aren’t compatible as well as those that are.
More on Dom Sub Relationship
Sexual domination does not have to be accompanied by other forms of dominance. The literary idea of the fearless politician or CEO who leads others in great endeavours only to return home to be affectionately spanked by his wife has real-life analogues. People who are merely marginally dominating or submissive are more likely to find themselves in such paradoxical situations. In other words, being submissive does not imply that you are a wuss.
Being submissive is not inherently inferior to being dominant. That’s all there is to it. Desiring inequality in the bedroom has nothing to do with wishing for social, political, or economic injustices. If feminism includes female pleasure during sex as one of its goals, allowing oneself to be hog-tied can be an act of utmost feminism for the right individual.
Admitting that you are submissive or dominant does not obligate you to try B and D, let alone S and M. Sexual power relations can be displayed in less obvious ways, such as sexual position, manner of dirty talk, ferocity of pumping, and lingerie choices.
Being cruel to someone in bed does not imply dominating them in bed. Actually, if they are submissive, it is the finest thing you can do.
Being a submissive man or a dominating woman does not automatically imply that you are gay, as long as you prefer to submit to women or, in the latter instance, dominate males. In general, sexual preference is independent of whether one is a dom or a sub. Because both members of a gay couple cannot subscribe to society’s assumption of male dominance and female submissiveness, gay persons are more likely to be aware of both preferences. Because they’ve been living in a mental straight-jacket, it’s more difficult for straight individuals to say things like “I wish I could go out with a man in a woman’s body” or “I feel like a lesbian in a man’s body.”
Be pleased with yourself
If you end up discussing these issues with your sweetheart, I hope it finally devolves into freak-nasty dirty chat.